Down on my knees again.

So its 12:05 friday night/saturday morning and i'm not at work. Same reason as always...stomach cramps. Lately they've been getting worse...to the point that i can't function normally as seen by me not being at work. I've literally tried EVERYTHING to stop the pain. Generally during the week when i'm not at work i feel 100%, as good as i've ever felt. But EVERY SINGLE NIGHT before i have to go to work it starts up...you can literally set a watch by it. That may sound like im just trying to avoid going to work but with every sincere thread in my body that is not the case. More than anything i simply want to go to work and feel normal. Maybe it's time to go to the doctor and find out what the fuck the problem is.

Today's song of the day is Slipknot - Duality

I push my fingers into my eyes...
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache...
But it's made of all the things I have to take...
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside...
If the pain goes on...
Aaaaaaaah!

I have screamed until my veins collapsed
I've waited as my time's elapsed
Now, all I do is live with so much hate
I've wished for this, I've bitched at that
I've left behind this little fact:
You cannot kill what you did not create
I've gotta say what I've gotta say
And then I swear I'll go away
But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise
I guess I'll save the best for last
My future seems like one big past
You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!

Put me back together
Or separate the skin from bone
Leave me all the Pieces, then you can leave me alone
Tell me the reality is better than the dream
But I found out the hard way,
Nothing is what it seems!

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!

All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane...
All I've got...all I've got is insane!
All I've got...all I've got is insane!

I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on,
I'm not gonna make it!