The worst thing about the person of your dreams....is when they become a real person.

One of the bad things about mixing personal life with online games is that invisible line. The line that separates the person on the screen and the person behind the screen. It would be a lie for anyone to say that they act exactly as they do online. The anonymity is almost like the inhibition release you get from alcohol. It allows you to be more promiscuous, more rude, more outgoing in some cases. Yet therein lies the culmination of that web of white lies and false truths. Mixing real life and online life is always a gamble. How can you be so sure the person that says they know you actually understands YOU and not your avatar? I'll be honest, X and myself have quite a few differences. Well maybe not that many, but its enough to call it a difference. Perhaps this way of thinking prevents me from really opening up to people online. Sometimes i wonder why bother? Sometimes i think like the layperson and consider friendships exclusively online are kinda sad. But then i realize these are still REAL people i talk to. They all open their eyes in the morning (or at night) and feel the tightness of their muscles and the blinding first light, stretching a bit and getting out of bed to live their lives, whatever they choose it to be. They still have fears and joys and passions and needs just like i do. They still inhabit a slowly dying husk of flesh destined to decay. (oh how i always get so morbid, its what i do best) But the truth of it is...they're people too, so why shouldn't they know Bill instead of X if they want to? And here we come to the point of this post. I am not X. X is just an image that i choose to project of myself. He is very, very based on me, but he still isn't me. So whoever wants to know me on a more personal level needs to realize they want to meet Bill...not X. X is not someone to like or even love, because he will let you down when he disappears and Bill surfaces. Been there done that still suffering.

Today's song of the day is Ozzy Osbourne - Demon Alcohol

I'm sick and tired of your excuses
Can't deal with living anymore
I'll give you reasons to continue
While you lie writhing on the floor

I'll wash away your lies
And have you hyptotized
There'll be no compromise today
I'll share your life of shame
I think you know my name
I'll introduce myself today

I'm the demon alcohol (demon alcohol)
I'll get you

If you could deal with your reflection
I'm sure you'd see into my eyes
There'll be no need for resurrection
Let's drink to people of the lies

Although that one's too much
You know ten's not enough
There'll be no compromise today
I'll watch you lose control
Consume your very soul
I'll introduce myself today

I'm the demon alcohol (demon alcohol)
Ha ha, demon alcohol (demon alcohol)
Let's party

I'm sick and tired of resolutions
You've quit me time and time again
Don't speak of suicide solutions
You took my hand, I'm here to stay

This time it's you or me
I'll never set you free
There'll be no compromise today
So satisfy your lust
Too much can't be enough
I'll introduce myself today

I'm the demon alcohol (the demon alcohol)
Ha ha, demon alcohol, (the demon alcohol)
Let's party