'This is the most fucked up crew i've run in the past 18 years'

So said Aldo, my boss. That's the truth. I've decided to create a reality TV show based on our night crew. Obviously it'll be aired on HBO or Cinemax. I took a look from the outside and realized how funny our crew is from an outsiders perspective. Example...i'm in charge of nicknaming new people. I've come up with quite a few. Bullet for Joey, he thought it was because he did his job so quickly, so i told him 'no, its because you'd work better with a bullet in your fuckin head.' Jerry i named Faggot because im convinced he wants to suck me off...and i'm scared. Carls name was easy...he's this short fat guy that doesn't talk too much...so he is known as Hot Karl. Floyd i nicknamed Uncle Dizzle cause he hooks me up with some good shit, plus hes a great guy. Joe-bot got his name from his robotronic movements, and he looks like me....in 20 years. Chicken-butt...the dyke we had for a few weeks that i tried to fuck...before i found out she was a carpet licker. Her name was determined by the fact that when she walked her ass didnt go from side to side...it went in a circle. But the fact of the matter is i love that crew. I have a blast with them...and as of now theyre the only ones that can make me actually cry laughing, and the only reason i'm still working there.

Today's song of the day is Pantera - Suicide Note Pt. 2


Out of my mind,
gun up to the mouth
No pretension, execution, live and learn , rape and turn
Fret not family,
nor pre-judged army
This is for me,
and me only, cowards only
Try it

[Chorus]
Don't you try to die, like me
It's livid and it's lies and makes graves
Graves descending down

It's not worth the time to try, to replenish a rotting life
I'll end the problem, facing nothing, fuck you off, fuck you all
Tortured history, addict of misery, this exposes me
for weakness is a magnet - watch me do it

[Chorus]

Why would you help anyone who doesn't want it,
doesn't need it, doesn't want your shit advice
when a mind's made up to go ahead and die?
What's done is done and gone, so why cry?