soundtrack to your escape

99% of my life is to music, i sleep to music, i wake up to music, music is always playing when im home, music on the way to work, music at work, music when i hang out with friends. I guess you can say music is my life. I've been playing guitar since i was 14. I've always believed that someone who is a musician appreciates music much more than the casual listener. This is the main reason people like Joe Satriani and Alex Skolnick will never become mainstream. I also tie specific points in my life to certain bands and certain CD's. For instance, Pearl Jam's cd Vitalogy brings me straight back to junior year of high school. The first Weezer album brings me back to Moe. The Offspring brings me back to the condos. I sit and look at the way things are right now and i'm not very happy. I miss high school. I had a fuckin blast there. People always told me to treasure those days cause they are the best days of your life...man they aint kidding. Sure it was a bitch waking up at fuckin 6 in the morning every morning but i was going to a place where ALL my friends were. I miss drooling over Miss Gentlecore. I miss smoking in the bathrooms with John. I miss sneaking off to the orchard with a few people and getting stoned. I miss trying to sneak onto peoples buses and go home and hang out with them with no way home. I miss having no license and having to walk 5 miles in the snow to see my girl. I miss hanging out with Sarah. Still cant believe her parents didnt think we were fucking (we really werent). I miss hanging out in Matt's room and getting stoned and watching the dumb polock next door dip a tennis ball in gasoline, light it, and throw it in a bush. I miss going to Warrens and coaxing his little brother and little sister to fight. I miss spending weeks at a time at Steves and getting nothing done at all. I miss the space invaders minigame in MKII that we played more than MK. Now all i have to look forward to is going to work and sleeping. Stressing about bills. Living from paycheck to paycheck. I dont want this life. I want to go back to my youth. Even though my father was a drunk abusive asshole i miss my house. I miss my old room. It was small but it was mine. I can't even pinpoint when everything changed. I guess thats because i keep all the good memories close to me and the bad ones i block out. I guess freedom comes at a price. But i should appreciate that i had a fun youth. Some people arent so lucky. Some people really resent their youth. I'm lucky i can look back and smile. But goddammit i hate this life i live now.

Todays song of the day is Opeth - To Rid The Disease