My life has spiraled out of my control. Everything seems to be sliding into the negative side of the spectrum. A good friend of mine is getting locked up again, work is beating the shit out of me, and the final straw...i fell off the wagon on saturday night. Nothing is right anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like i should give up. Christmas is 5 days away and i have no desire to associate with anyone. I'm slipping back to where i used to be. There's no thoughts of suicide...but there is no fear of death. For the longest time i lived my life not caring whether i lived or died, i'm almost back there again. I guess i finally got my answer to my Karma question i've been asking. I realized i was gone last night when i heard the song 'Killer of Giants' and broke into tears. My mind is no longer my own. Just remember the X that you knew loved you all very much. I'm sorry.
Todays song of the day is Ozzy Osbourne - Killer of Giants
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