"Do you realize how dangerous that is?"

I was formally introduced to drugs when i was 14...i can thank Matt for that one. This may sound like the scene from Half Baked but him and Nate told me 'oh you prolly wont get high the first time you smoke'...needless to say i got completely fucking wasted. That whole summer was about getting stoned, skating, and the trampoline with the skateboard deck with no trucks on it. I really did have alot of fun. I really had alot of fun with the old crew. Matt, other Matt (fuck i know alot of matt's) Nate B, Evan, Warren, Kristen, Maureen, Steve, and James. I really miss those people...the only one i kept in touch with was Steve. Steve and i spent alot of time hanging out during my junior/senior years even though he didnt go to the same high school as me. I guess thats around when i grew away from my 'skater' friends and moved onto my 'metal' friends. I still hung out with Warren once in awhile since he lived 3 houses away...he was my computer geek friend, the one who got me into computers. Maureen was around too...we went out off and on all through middle/high school...but thats a totally different post all in itself. I miss my old friends i really do. I think on it sometimes and i dont know why we grew apart...i guess it just happens. Middle school really was fun but high school was a blast. There were so many cliqs and i was one of the lucky ones that really wasnt labeled as anything, i hung out with all the groups. I guess if you had to classify me i would've been part of the 'metalheads.' I remember study hall for some reason...i always slept through it. Until Justine got moved there. She was a trip...i'd constantly hit on her and i could tell she was interested but she always played hard to get. Funny how we had so many oppritunities to actually go out but we never did. I guess thats the friendship we had, the perpetual 'on the fence' friendship. I remember Cliffwood Lake like it was yesterday. I think i had my best times there. Pretty much an entire neighborhood of friends. Sad that i didnt live there but i went there for weeks at a time during the summers. Which brings me to one of my lowest times. Steve and I had like zero money most of the time so weed was kinda hard to come by. So sometimes we would huff air fresheners. It's not something im proud of but it happened. I remember it being a very short and 'dull' high, until one day we decided to try Rustoleum. God i wish i could go back in time and never do that. I knew how dangerous it was. I remember going to the park and doing it. It was an incredibly focused high. I could almost compare it to weed being like a water pistol and this being like a hot laser. It was almost like being blacked out for 20 minutes at a click but retaining some memory. Eventually other people started doing it. The memory that sticks in my mind is one night with me, Steve, and Sue. Sue was a friend...i wouldnt say she was a good friend, but i also wouldnt degrade her as just an aquaintance. We were all at the park on the swings and we were doing our thing. We used ziploc bags for the actual huffing. I remember just finishing taking a hit and seeing Sue standing against the support bars to the swings. But i was so fucked up i thought it was Moe. At that point in time i was going through one of the many breakups with her. All i remember is stumbling over to Sue and kissing her like i kissed Moe so many times. I dont remember much after that. But after i came to i felt so guilty. It was at that time i called all the guys from the neighborhood, went to the rock in the lake, and we had one final throwdown with that stuff. I havent touched it since. After that in typical fashion we started to lose touch, but Steve remains to this day. I guess what im trying to say is i really miss all my old friends, i hope they know i loved them dearly.

Todays song of the day is Weezer - We Are All On Drugs